Is Asking A Girl Or A Woman Her Age Rude?

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Do you think it's a rude question?


The saying, age is just a number, is not only misleading but also incomprehensive as it doesn't apply to all areas of life. I like to think the saying was meant to serve a motivational purpose, which is to untangle the limitations attached to a particular age that could impede one from achieving a dream or expanding one's horizon. But, people use it to romanticize their egos more. Age can't be insignificant in a functional society. It can never be just a number when it could play a key role in ageing. Age can't just be a number when every country or state has what is called “legal age” enshrined in its constitution. Legal age, a synonym of codified age, refers to the age at which an individual may legally engage in a certain activity. 

It's normal to make a query about a person's age, but why is it rude to ask a girl or a woman about her age? In fact, some women wouldn't tell you their exact age even if they are nice enough to answer you. They will reduce the age, so they can revel in youthfulness. Society can be so dystopian when it comes to creating piercing expectations for women. The society forms a marital age range for women, and if a woman fails to follow the age range, she's considered unfit. Tons of features are demanded from the women, that the women tiptoe in a world they are supposed to walk freely. In a bid to eschew ridicule about saggy breasts, a woman confines her breasts to brassieres. Some stock silicons in their mammary glands. You'll see some short women perching on high heels so they won't be underestimated. Therefore, a woman is very sensitive towards all these things whenever you ask about her age, so she outright sees your query as one coming from a point of judgmentalism. 

Also, it's considered bad-mannered to ask a girl about her age. I can remember how a colleague used the word “rude” when I asked him if he knew the age of the girl he was making out with. Meanwhile, I wanted to be sure if he wasn't making out with an underage, so he won't be accused of statutory rape. I, as a person, will ask a girl about her age before going into a relationship with her. I can't commit my heart to a girl who hasn't attained emotional maturity, and it's said a person attains emotional maturity at the age of 21. Although there are exceptional cases, they are very rare. 

There's nothing wrong with asking a girl or woman about her age. Nonetheless, the tone deployed could make it rude if it's dismissive. Generally, querying a person concerning his or her age in a dismissive tone is rude. For instance, it's impolite to bring up the question of age when you ask someone about his or her age in the heat of an argument because you are subtly saying the person's age is why he thinks lowly, forgetting a person's age isn't a determinant of his or her knowledge. 

So, whenever you plan to ask someone about his or her age, make the tone as calm as though you want to know more about a potential friend, not as a person you want to dismiss once their age falls below your expectation. 

What do you think?

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About the Author

Ifenaike Ifedapo Ayomipo

Ifenaike Ifedapo Ayomipo is a Nigerian writer whose works have been published or are forthcoming on The Quills, The Transit Lit Magazine, Naija Mad Hotstars, Kalahari Review, IceFloe Press, CovidHQ Africa, Shallow Tales Review, Institutionalized Review, Whetstone Magazine and elsewhere. Also, he's a promising Educationist and public speaker.

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